I'm probably lying.


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I took up rent inside another human once. My contract expired on January 27, 1998. Now I'm stuck here.
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July 30, 2014 / 334,274 notes

vondell-swain:

i want a shirt that says “eat or die” because at first it sounds rebellious but its just a reminder

(Source: itsvondell)

July 30, 2014 / 253,278 notes

nerdsarerhapsodic:

One of the kids in my high school class was born on April Fool’s and his dad missed his birth because when his mom called to say she was in labour he laughed and hung up on her

July 30, 2014 / 51,791 notes
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When yah parents talking to they friends and you ready to go.
July 30, 2014 / 773,077 notes

instagrampa:

I’m usually that person who has no idea what’s going on

July 30, 2014 / 18,820 notes

video games don’t make us violent, lag does

(Source: dimwited)

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life-live-learn-seek:

Me
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July 30, 2014 / 401,054 notes

fuckyesliampayne:

justiceandromance:

alex-is-fab:

gay-on:

Girls that love gay guys but are disgusted by lesbians.

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Guys that love lesbians but are disgusted by gay guys.

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Anyone who is disgusted by anyone because of their sexual preference.

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SOCKS AND FLIP FLOPS

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(Source: alsohigh)

July 30, 2014 / 200,016 notes

queerchesters:

arterialspurt:

queerchesters:

fun date idea: Go down on me while I shop online with ur credit card

I don’t think someone could focus on the internet while I was going down on them.

you over estimate your skill and underestimate the joy of shopping

July 30, 2014 / 130,342 notes

cosbycoldplay:

"you have an essay due monday"

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"you need to go outside and be a valued member of society"

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"get off the computer, it’s 2 in the morning"

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"they’re just fictional characters"

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July 30, 2014 / 156 notes

heliolisk:

people that like their own pictures and statuses are truly strange creatures

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July 30, 2014 / 94,172 notes

scaredpotter:

"i don’t have time to start reading that book" [opens 200k fic]

July 29, 2014 / 68,939 notes
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