I'm probably lying.


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I took up rent inside another human once. My contract expired on January 27, 1998. Now I'm stuck here.
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thetalkoflove:

i love him omfg
August 14, 2014 / 559,948 notes

literallyrad:

there are approximately 1,013,913 words in the english language but i could never string any of them together to explain how much i want to hit you with a chair.

August 14, 2014 / 198,862 notes

amerlcanapparel:

google is great because you can ask something really obvious and nobody has to know

August 14, 2014 / 434,977 notes
August 14, 2014 / 305,654 notes

divawithanunspoiledagenda:

plumbones:

destiny919:

greenhoused:

which way does a cyclops wing their eyeliner

tumblr user greenhoused is asking the real questions

It doesn’t matter, because Nobody is going to criticize their makeup.

WAS THAT A MOTHER FRACKING ODYSSEY PUN

August 14, 2014 / 149,345 notes

nitrqin:

I wonder if I ever caught someones attention. Even if I was just walking among the crowd, I wonder if they wanted to get to know me or anything like that.

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August 14, 2014 / 637,195 notes

free-booty:

I don’t mean to interrupt people I just randomly remember things and get really excited I’m sorry

(Source: free-booty)

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ask-koki-kariya:

suprarationality:

The Fault in Our Stepbrothers

Megan?Megan.
August 14, 2014 / 2,230 notes

shitshilarious:

my-chordae-tendineae:

shitshilarious:

Those days where you feel like the other 4 members of Maroon 5

there are actually 6 people in maroon 5

this really only drives my point home harder

Anonymous said: How did you get your skin so clear??

relahvant:

photoshop

August 5, 2014 / 86,563 notes

dragonsateyourtoast:

charlesoberonn:

Please don’t tell girls “The boy who’s picking on you actually just likes you”

Even if it’s true, you shouldn’t teach girls to respect that sort of affection.

And you should definitely not teach boys that expressing their attraction to women through violence and disrespect is ok.

THANK YOU

August 5, 2014 / 144,384 notes

i’m the popcorn kernel that never popped in the bag of life

August 5, 2014 / 711,013 notes

dysphorism:

DO YOU EVER JUST

GET JEALOUS SO EASILY

LIKE NO 

THAT PERSON IS MINE

DON’T BREATHE AROUND THEM PLEASE AND THANK YOU

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